where has my life gone and where is it going

i wonder this on a daily basis.partially because my brain never shuts off and partially because im 25 and people ask what i want to do with my life.

and then i panic.

my life is full of  “i should have… ” and  “i should be…”

i should have done more internships in school. i should have joined more clubs, made more friends, stayed in chico longer. i should embrace my youth, find some crazy job, and live in a big city.i should travel more. i should have backpacked through europe.. no actually i don’t enjoy schlepping and hostels scare the crap out of me. i also enjoy showering and not sharing a space.

how did i end up living in the valley? no one ever really sees themselves at 25 moving to the valley and living the suburban life. im constantly wondering where i would be had my degree gotten me a job. instead i followed a boy to the valley because his job is here. i compromised. which i do on certain occasions. because i like to make things work. i swear i am really a nice person.

but my life lacks excitement. pizazz. i have a very routine lifestyle. i am stuck in a rut. not like some quarter life crisis but an actual rut.

and then i read a recent post on Chris and Paige (and Fox)’s blog.  whether you are single, married, getting married, what-have-you you will find that it applies to you.

the first passage that hit home– Don’t spend Friday and Saturday night studying, working, or just watching TV.

i know our tiny valley town doesnt have much to offer in the nightlife category but adam and i spend most (if not all) friday and saturday nights at home on the couch. i can’t even begin to tell you how boring it is. our relationship isn’t any stronger for it. our social lives are lacking.

the second passage that stands out– Find activities and hobbies that you both enjoy and do them together.

since adam and i live together we do most everything together. we go grocery shopping together, we watch tv together, and we sometimes go out to the movies together. every so often we go out to a movie together. it is a nice way to hang out but its also a great way to hang out with someone and not actually interact with them (which is why i always recommend it as a great first date).  i wish adam would spend time with me at the gym, but that just isnt his thing- just like he would rather play video games and that just isnt my thing.

and another great one– It’s a lot easier to do things right from the beginning than to change mid-stream.

oh boy. as soon as i read this i immediately thought about chores. our weak point is picking up around the house. we both work different hours and have different pay scales and no matter what articles i’ve read about it, nothing works. chore charts, trades, asking… i wonder sometimes if setting ground rules in the beginning was the way to go. but i didn’t even do that with roommates i’ve had because it just worked.

this is my favorite– Share your feelings and thoughts without worrying about what the other will think.

i am constantly struggling with my feelings. i don’t like hurting others so i’d rather keep it to myself. i’d rather bottle it up and explode than just let it out every now and then. even when it comes to blogging i start with a great topic and start writing and then choose not to publish because i don’t want anyone to be hurt or think i’m a weirdo. chances are we’re just as nuts as the next person but no one likes to feel like the cheese standing alone.

so don’t be the cheese and head over to Chris and Paige’s blog and give it a read. its a beautiful post with beautiful pictures.

yes i’m constantly referring you to their blog because it’s one of my favorites and i read it on a daily basis and have for over a year. paige has great style, an adorable family (human, feathered, and furry), pretty pictures, and great insight.

read blogs. they’re cheaper than books. and they have pictures.

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