green things

Adam (mr.anti-hippy dippy trippy crunchy granola) has become a hippy.

for months he’s been raving about kale chips. apparently someone on the radio show he listens to raves about them and he just had to have them. chico’s saturday market always had a typical haven’t-showered-in-a-week-as-to-conserve-water crunchy granola type selling kale chips. i don’t know if you’ve ever seen kale chips but they resemble something sort of earthy…something very similar to a divot on a golf course.

I followed this recipe.

go ahead and give it a good read. then we’ll talk.

Baked Garlic & Parmesan Kale Chips

Ingredients
1 bunch of kale; about 6oz
2 tsp olive oil
1 tsp sea salt
1/2 tsp garlic powder
2 tablespoons shaved or grated Parmesan cheese

First, you want to make sure that you’ve washed and dried the kale. Washing it is important so that you’re not eating dirt, and drying it is important because wet kale won’t become kale chips in the oven, it’ll become, well, steamed kale. You can use a salad spinner to dry the kale, or you can use paper towels, or you can let it air dry. Whatever you do, just make sure it’s as dry as possible before getting started.

Next! Preheat the oven to 300 degrees. Then, chop the kale into nice bite size pieces, keeping in mind that it’ll shrink when it bakes because of the water content. When you’re chopping, feel free to remove some of the tougher and stem-ier pieces; the leaves are really the best part for chip-making.

In a large bowl, toss the chopped kale leaves with the olive oil, sea salt, and garlic powder, and then spread in an even single layer on a parchment-lined baking sheet (you might need two baking sheets, depending on size). Bake for about 20 minutes, until crisp but not browned, and then remove the baking sheet from the oven and let it cool slightly on a wire rack. After a few minutes, sprinkle the Parmesan cheese over the kale chips and serve immediately. These can be served at room temperature too, but I like them better straight out of the oven.

PS – If you somehow manage not to eat all of these at once (ha, good luck), I should tell you that they don’t save very well in a Ziplock bag. Kale chips + Ziplock bag = soggy. And no one wants that.

PPS – The best thing about these kale chips is that you can really flavor them however you want. Do you like red pepper flakes? Use red pepper flakes. In the mood for something sweet? Try 2 tsp olive oil, 1 tbsp maple syrup, and 1/2 tsp cinnamon. Endless possibilities here, people!!

so that’s the recipe..

after following the recipe exactly, I pulled brown, charred kale chips from the oven a little past 5 minutes into baking.

don’t follow this recipe.

let’s make a new one just in case you are willing to do anything for your boyfriend/girlfriend and they are asking for kale chips even though they’ve never seen how gross they look.

Kale Chips by Me

Ingredients

1 bunch of kale

olive oil

sea salt

garlic powder

parm cheese

Directions

*Preheat oven to 300F. Scratch that let’s play it safe and say 275F.

1. Clean and dry kale

2. Rip kale into bite sized pieces and put into a bowl

3. Drizzle olive oil over the kale. Just a quick swoop in a circle will do.

4. Grind (or sprinkle) sea salt onto your bowl of kale bits and toss it around.

5. Arrange kale on a parchment lined baking sheet.

6. Sprinkle desired amount of garlic and parm on kale.

7. Put baking sheet in the oven.

8. Check every 5 minutes. They should be crisp but not brown.

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